Recognise these ‘Pursuer’ and ‘Distancer’ patterns in your relationship?

One of the most common issues and arguments in relationships is because people feel unheard or unseen. And one of the most common explanations of this is because of the way they relate to others: their individual so-called learned ‘attachment’. It often happens that people attract a partner who’s learned some opposite patterns to themselves, which often leads to a lot of friction and hurt in the relationship.

What are love patterns?

Learn that attachment is a foundational blueprint; which common patterns there are; and a peek into their inner world:

Learn more about the ‘Pursuer’

Learn all about the pursuer’s need for connection, how this translates in behaviour, and how this impacts their desire for intimacy:

Learn more about the ‘Withdrawer’ or ‘Distancer’

Learn all about the distancer internal state; how they cope with being independent and how this translates to their desire for intimacy.

Pursuer & Withdrawer patters in therapy

When attending psychological therapy people may already know or together we discover that these pursuer and distancer patterns play a huge role in the (for example) miscommunication, arguments and lack of sex life. Via therapy people gain helpful insight into ‘why’ these patterns are there: for example, hurt in the current relationship or because of ex-partners, or communication styles in the family where one grew up. In therapy we will also actively work on repairing the communications and I will actively emotion-coach both partners to affirm their needs while listening and acknowledging their partner and support both to move forward and feel reconnected.

Wondering how psychological therapy can help you and your relationship? Explore this in a session or consultation that you can book here.